How To Be A Good Indian Muslim

201518125436873734_20To be a good Muslim you have to believe that Islam is an inherently evil religion that will cause nothing but misery to anyone who follows it. Since Islam is an inherently evil religion a good Muslim will never discuss any aspect of Islam that may be seen as noble by people who are unaware of the evilness of Islam.

A good Muslim does not believe in victimhood narrative. He can see his father getting killed by mobs, his sister molested but he will still say “Saare Jahan se Accha Hindustan Hamara”. Complaining about the attack is a sure sign of victimhood while standing up and denouncing the perpetrators is a sure sign of radicalization.

A good Muslim has a visceral hate for all countries where majority of people are Muslim. Many of these countries may be far ahead on social indicators as compared to India but a good Muslim believes that these statistics hide the barbarism and cruelty that inherently exists in Muslim societies.

A good Muslim will stand for freedom of speech when people mock or abuse any aspect or personality related to Islam. A good Muslim will also denounce Akbar Owaisi for mocking and abusing Hindu deities.

A good Muslim will always vote for a secular party. All parties except BJP are secular and all secular parties either behave like BJP or can form an alliance with the BJP if required.

A good Muslim won’t complain about beef ban because eating beef is not compulsory in Islam but stopping others from eating beef is compulsory in other faiths and a good Muslim not only respects but follows the Sharia of other faiths.

A good Muslim does not say Allah Hafiz or Ramadan. A good Muslim says Khuda Hafiz because the word ‘Khuda’ is derived from the ancient Indian language called Persian.

A good Muslim looks down upon women who wear Hijab even if those women are more educated and more successful in life than he ever will be. A good Muslim should also ignore exceptions like a religious turban wearing man could be the Prime Minister of India for 10 years.

A good Muslim makes sure to tell everyone that he is supporting India when India is playing cricket. Failure to explicitly declare support is a sure sign of treason. Although an eagerness to declare support can also mean a conspiracy to hide the hatred towards India.

A good Muslim lets his secular non Muslim friends speak to and speak for him in a condescending manner. A good Muslim would not allow himself to be labelled an extremist by speaking for himself.

A good Muslim is clean shaven and prefers Indian clothing like the jeans, t shirts, suits etc. Wearing traditional attire or growing a beard is an early indicator of radicalization.

A good Muslim denounces animal slaughter in the name of religion. Although a good Muslim may choose to eat meat at any McDonald’s or any other outlets that serve non halal food. If a Muslim can’t appreciate the value of animal slaughter for commercial reasons then how can he be good Muslim?

A good Muslim believes that Islam has a special problem with women and it can only be solved when Muslims undergo reforms like Hindus did in the past. A good Muslim should conveniently ignore the fact that 50 million females have been killed in India due to selective abortions, the greatest genocide of females in the history of humanity after the supposed awakening of the Hindu society.

Despite religion inspired dietary restrictions and anti conversion laws a good Muslim has steadfast belief in the secular nature of India. A good Muslim also believes that India is secular only because of the inherent attributes of compassion and tolerance enshrined in Hindus and Hinduism.

In spite of their ongoing connections with the Mughal army, in spite of their involvement in the partition which resulted in Hindu land going to the Arabs, Hindus have allowed Muslims to live in India. A good Muslim acknowledges this and is always indebted to Hindus. A good Muslim is a thankful Muslim.

A good Muslim writes long articles on how secular political parties are in fact the communal parties and the only option left with Muslims is to vote for the BJP.

A good Muslim takes responsibility and apologizes for any wrong that is done by any Muslim in any part of the world. Also he makes sure to highlight non religious factors while explaining any problem that lies with India. Although it is advisable to ignore the faults and focus on the greatness of India.

You can either be a practicing Muslim or a good Muslim. The choice is obvious or perhaps you don’t have much of a choice. Be a good Indian Muslim.


  1. And a good Muslim would even accuse you of spreading enmity between religions.

    This post speaks volume of how in a majoritarian nation, minorities will have to face this issue.
    Thank you for writing this @brownbrumby. Much appreciated.

  2. Add one more: A good muslim should turn passive when hindu girl shows affection towards him, for it will add to number of cases of love jihad. Good muslims don’t do that.

    Although i like what you said, its more of an wishful thinking for us who live in India. Its better to be realist than live in an utopia. Possibly i will live with more liberty if i immigrate to any other truly multicultural country like Australia or Canada. Till then i have to remind myself a host of unwritten rules. Love it or leave it. Live in the moment as life is not meant to be wasted for people who don’t matter to you.

    Thanks for writing this!!

  3. This should reach the Good Indian Muslims like Shahnawaz Hussain, Naqvi, Heptullah.Your article speaks a lot.

  4. Hello BrownBrumby,

    You said “Not sure when but it will happen. One day Sanghis will realize that they cant build a nation by challenging loyalties of 200+ million people” – ref:

    As long as the BJP and Sangh are able to continue with their plan for the Muslims, they will rule and be afforded full support. Even if BJP recedes it will cede ground to soft hindutva-wadis who will prepare the ground for the next Sangh cycle at the center.

    The unfortunate reality in India is that even the non-savarna classes seem to hate Muslims, which really baffles me as the Muslim and then British rule were actually responsible for their social emancipation. The Sangh knows that it can successfully pit the vast masses of Indians against the Muslims and job done!

    Bihar may make us optimistic, but in Bihar, the Sangh could not read in time that the Modi effect had dampened.


  5. Hello Brownbrumby,

    You wrote about BJP’s apology to SRK in this tweet “Like @kanikagahlaut said. BJP picked the wrong guy. They never stood a chance against him. To many he defines India.” -> ref:

    This is standard BJP operating procedure, first let your “fringe” elements, who are fringe no more, spread hate and attack. If the fallout in the media is too severe, then the more sophisticated English speaking elements come out and issue condemnations. This is just the BJP managing media better this time. This is nothing but BJP/Sangh double speak.

    The true message of BJP is to be found in whatapp forwards and “not-so-fringe” element statements.

  6. wow no-1 article ….as per my knowledge those who are good muslims who like BJP nowdays. ..and rest are GO TO PAKISTAN type muslims .

  7. Hi,
    I know by the end of this comment you and friends above will have already termed me Modi Toadie/Bhakth or any other new terms coined recently.

    Your first point: A secular good mannered Hindu will always remember loss of lives of minorities but will never ever question losses to their own community because they shall be termed intolerant or an extremist Modi supporter irrespective of their ideology.

    Your second point: Your western friends most commonly agree of the conditions in some of the Muslim majority states, in fact the way they bombard Modi same way their eyes look towards rights violations in Muslim majority countries.

    Your third point: A well mannered secular Hindu closes their eyes and ears to everything that gets ignored or gets done in name of religious tolerance, they should be eveready to accept mocking, insult of their sentiments by the world wide media largely critical of their existence

    Your fourth point: A well mannered secular Hindu would always accept the ‘Indian National’ Congress who remained in power for majority of times headed by mother son who are remotely not Indian, who are remotely not nationalistic, who in their majority of times hadn’t been able to uplift the minority community out of poverty, who run INC as INC pvt ltd and pull all strings of the nation to their liking.

    Your fifth point: A well mannered secular Hindu shall never ever raise any of their sentiments as they shall immediately be termed by whole mass media to be intolerant, to working against communal harmony which was perfectly in bliss since founding of the idea of India, they should be perfectly fine with ‘freedom of expression’ even if that entails impinging upon their religious sensibilities. Because they must bear in mind the idea of Bharat is only enjoyed by minorities but not less mannered Hindus

    Your sixth point: A well mannered secular Hindu would accept this but me being ill mannered as already evident raising these taboo-ed issues would like to bring to your notice we (or at least those ill mannered) greet our Muslim friends with khuda hafiz, asalam waliq kum and truly enjoy the idea of delving ourselves with their culture and practices.

    Your seventh and eighth point: A well mannered secular Hindu must always ignore the Sikh riots because they don’t fall in minority hence less important. For any other riot they must also ignore the facts must reasoning. This secular Hindu must accept opinion of Brown Brumby irrespective of the number of times solidarity shown between India and Pakistan because any foreigner journalist/blogger/writer is always right about India and the less mannered Hindus. They must also close eyes to the number of fans showing support to their respective neighboring country while playing against India.

    Your ninth and tenth point: This well mannered secular Hindu must blindly accept you since doing not would be early symptoms of Hindu radicalization alson now compared to Taliban. They must also accept your correctness on wearing of traditional wear and growing a beard when they themself see Muslim youth actively following their religious practices. They should accept their nation as highly extremist where birth rates of minorities rise while in neighboring state birth rate of minorities sharply declines. They must accept the Indian clothing to be the basic western casual since Indian values have eroded and keeping the youth back on advancement

    your twelfth point: A good well mannered secular Hindu must believe that status of women hasn’t changed in this community however it has sharply changed in Muslim communities with women taking to skies and becoming involved actively in societies, becoming part of economic development. A good well mannered secular Hindu must believe the supposed figure quoted and accept all is very well with equality of women all over the Earth land and the figures are precise in other Muslim societies.

    To all your remaining points: Let me be ill mannered and as respectful of freedom expression as possible, be this a satire or your viewpoint it’s largely exaggerated because going through the news reports of half media that sternly reports truth and binds to no faction or ideology whatsoever is all it takes to jott down few lines describing the Incredible murderous, extremist society of India. Because BJP has to do with all the flagrant news coming in and the rest of elements, political parties and intellectuals represent the blissful episodes of India. Because what you hear from one person you paint it across whole canvas of India, because during Modi’s regime all hell breaks loose, social fabric is torn apart and largest democracy coming to end.
    While truth is offshoot organisations of BJP are wrecking havoc and the party has failed to keep them in check, views of Hindu group do not represent views of Hindu India or even Hindutva. Views of RSS do not ascribe to every Indian. Mind you unlike your country where the aborigines have had to fight long battle for a equal status out here we give them reservation for advancement. We are just going through a phase of societal discontent and the foreign media is quick to draw sharp uncalled for comparisons. We are a peaceful country that does right by every community, by every state by every individual. Because at the end of this phase we are a passing movie called All is always well in India.

  8. Hello BrownBrumby, you wrote how the world can learn from the way Indian Muslims not being required to apologize for acts committed by Muslims in Kashmir. ref:

    Do you really think that the Indian government wants to start that culture which will simply cause the Indian Muslims to question, read about and discuss the status quo and the situation in Kashmir, which may actually turn in favor of the Kashmiri Muslims ?

    Asking Indian Muslims to apologize for stuff happening in Kashmir is throwing up the Kashmir situation for a discussion and thus re-assessment. It serves better to let everyone stay silent and label the occasional speaker a “Pakistani traitor”.

    Just think how difficult the west finds controlling its Muslim population who are aware of western wars in the Muslim world. Do you think India wants to face a similar situation ?

    If anything the western world would love to have the Indian equation where their armies fight war elsewhere, the local media stays tight lipped about the events and everyone goes about with their lives with the occasional whistle blower termed “traitor”


  9. First thing first. Are u Replybb …u r self….if ur then… tch tch tch.

    Secondly, This is not the story of Indian Muslims. They are cases where what ever u have suggested has happened,,,but there are other kind of people too. Our parents had this outlook…agree….but our generation..No.

  10. A rant of victimhood! Dear. dear…. the whole world must be wrong…but NOBODY dare raise a voice against the killers who read a book and start beheading people.

    The fig leaf has come of Islam with the appearance of ISIS. The way they kill , maim, murder and behead may look normal to you. But how are we non Muslims expected to react? Smile that they are just following the Koran. Grin and bear it?

    Most people are now convinced that this is how Islam has spread historically. The Bokos and Isis are the first line of attack. Then come the preachers and the converters.

    Accept it that between Saudia and Lahore, this is the only culture which exists. Only in India, where interactions with Hinduism happened that Islam could become more gentle.

    Instead of blaming others for expecting Muslims to follow civil laws, gender parity, equality for all, you should honestly introspect. Infact tell fellow Muslims that there is no Jannat. No 72 virgins. No rum and coke waiting if they blow themselves killing innocents. That many of the passages of Koran are simply outdated today in terms of gender parity, freedom of religious choice.

    But of course you won’t. You will just cry Islamophobia! How sad…

  11. let me simplify it, a good muslim is one who believe what all is written in koran is to be implemented in spirit and letter

  12. As a great scientist once said, “Reality is a delusion where there is no Islam”. This article pretty much proves the point.

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